A schmeary-merry Compilation of OKC messages

I'm hoping to add more as I call on the OKC experts of my generation. I've been talking about the messaging etiquette on OKC lately with my friends and many of them have been getting the most awful one-liners. Sometimes I wish those one-liners could be elaborated on--really so then I felt that there was more effort put into the writing of the message.

One liner hall of fame:

"Hey there I work out, take good care of myself, and drink milk and I think you're sexy."

or

In response to my friend being a dancer someone wrote her:

"i go to lines so SUCK IT" 

("lines" as in Alonzo King Lines Dance Center)

Some of these one-liners are almost as bad as youtube comments. 

Some one-liners are just so darn creative:

Really though I can't imagine why this guy would be on a dating site...he's so charismatic. 

Some OKC one-liners should consider writing Op-Eds:

Alright then...I say: FUCK THE POLICE!

Then you have the men who are just so excited:

A little hot to trot there aren't you? I can appreciate the compliment on my profile...but I have no reason to reciprocate your request of meeting me BECAUSE I DON'T KNOW YOU MANGGGG!


So there are the lack-luster, effortless one-liner messages and then there are these...randoms:

"Before work at 6am I was on my way out the door, then realized I forgot my umbrella (it's pouring rain)..So I scavenger everywhere, then realize its by the front door, missed it. So I get to Bart, run up the escalator just in time to get on the train as the doors were closing. Sat down, a deep sigh of relief, and then wait? Where is my umbrella? It was on the passenger seat in my car. 

No worries, nobody got desperate and broke in for it in the parking lot ;). 

So you must be one of those people who holds the free hugs signs? We have probably hugged before, in between snacks n' naps. 

How did you get into dance?"

Sometimes you get messages from folks who have something legitimate to ask. That's always nice to get:

I will answer questions about armpit hair and pubes with great delight! That's why I got an OkCupid profile ya dingus!

And then you have the people who are like recurring nightmares...

Look who's back? 

"ALLKNOWING mentioned in my "All-knowing Ok-Stupider" post  is really intent on telling me how wrong I was about never contacting him. Is he really trying to guilt trip me about this 11 days after making it pretty hilariously clear that I don't want to see him? Check out my previous post--it involves iguanas and bearded dragons. 

Also, in other news I will never be complete by OkCupid standards:

Until then I'll be relaxing on a rock soliciting my friends for the best one-liners on OKC. 

Wait I should be doing something el-